It's Always Been You
by DramaticField
Summary: When Sam and Emily's imprint is broken by the loss of their unborn child, what will happen to Leah and her non-existent love life?
1. Chapter 1

**It's Always Been You**

**Summary/Authors note: Sam and Emily get pregnant, crushing Leah further. However, it comes as a huge shock when Emily loses the baby due to a weak cervix; a normal, human pregnancy complication. The shock is heightened through-out the elders considering their belief that imprinting is for fertility reasons; to carry on their genes. If imprinting is for fertility reasons, and for some reason, there's a fault in Emily's, what happens between Sam and Emily when they lose the baby? Will Leah Clearwater be there for her cousin and ex-boyfriend, or will her independence and pain cause her to recoil further? Post-Breaking Dawn, including every aspect, a.k.a Renesmee, however there's no direct mention to her. Jacob imprinted on her, that's the extent of her involvement. **

**Leah's point of view. (Flashback)**

_We all waited in the hospital, all curious and anticipant of the sudden turn of events. It was mind blowing, really. Emily and Sam had gotten pregnant nineteen weeks ago. Nineteen long, horrendous weeks. Patrolling with Sam had been further complicated and painful since the unplanned pregnancy. Actually, just breathing; living within a distance of him was even more painful. Sam and Emily had everything I wanted pre-baby and when they'd gotten pregnant, my own infertility heightened the hurt. It was a double slap in the face. _

_However, as we sat in the hospital lobby, Emily's mom ringing her hands together nervously, and Sam's, too calm to register what was going on, I knew even if it hurt; even if it hurt like hell, I wouldn't want this: Emily to lose the baby._

_To say I hated Emily was far-fetched; she was my blood and she and I once shared the same goals in life. We both understood the other and loved each other the same once upon a time. It wasn't easy to forget. Would I ever forgive her? No. Not fully. Not even if I wanted to, which a part of me always would. Not only did I lose the love of my life in our break-up, but I lost my best friend, too. No matter how many ways I could think back and look at it, there was no other outcome. No outcome suitable or less painful than this. Emily and Sam chose their lives and I chose to not be involved in it anymore than I had to be already. It was how things were._

_But I still didn't wish this. _

_The doctors said Emily was going to have a late miscarriage due to cervical incompetence. Translation: She was going to lose the baby, more than likely. As we awaited the fate of the child, I could only think about everything I had missed; everything Emily and I couldn't be a part of in the others life due to her relationship with Sam. If things had went as planned, I would of been in there holding her hand, telling her everything would be okay while Sam held mine, her baby's father on the other side of the bed. Some nice, tall man who cared about her and kissed her forehead to soothe her. Not Sam. He was mine._

_The fact that I felt envious and selfish was confirmation that I really was heartless considering Emily and Sam were currently in turmoil over the possible loss of their unborn child, but I couldn't help it. I would rather be the one losing the child as long as I had Sam. And Emily, too, I guess, by my side. I would take her fate over my own any day. _

_Then, Sam emerged from the swinging double doors, pinching the bridge of his nose as he went over to his mother, prohibiting eye contact with anyone else. She stood immediately, taking her son into her arms and then, Sam whispered the words we all hoped he wasn't going to say, but we all knew deep down were coming._

_"He's gone."_

His voice was quiet and he, ultimately seemed detached. I could relate to his tone. Every day. Though, I knew this pain, no worse, nor better, was still pain, and different from that of mine. I still wanted to wrap my arms around him and tell him it would be okay, though the other half of me felt repulsed at the idea of trying to console him and show him any emotion when he caused what I dealt with every day. Maybe the latter was selfish and horrible, but I couldn't find it in me to stop my pain just because he, too, was hurting. If I could stop my pain, I would of found an excuse to long ago. On the same thought, though, I loved Sam more than words would ever begin to capture and I wanted to be there for him so badly considering our history.

_The confliction glued me to my seat, as I knew it would, and I sat there, watching everything unfold._

* * *

><p><strong>Leah's point of view. (Present)<strong>

That was two months ago.

Emily and Sam exiled themselves to their home and only shouts late at night while the rest of us patrolled under Jacob's order told me there was any life left in the house. No one really saw them anymore. Both of their moms and Emily's dad dropped by occasionally and sometimes my mom would call over to make sure things were okay, but other than that, I hadn't saw or heard from Sam or Emily since that day in the hospital. It seemed like a life time ago, really.

They were both dealing with the loss of a child; A son, Sam said. I understood their reclusive lifestyle. I didn't have to see them every day. Maybe it was unspeakable, but their pain allowed mine to diminish slightly.

Well, not their _pain_, as such, but the fact that I wasn't faced with the man who took my virginity, and still held my heart day in, day out, wasn't something bad. I hardly saw Emily as it was, as long as I could help it, though Sam was kind of a requirement considering we were both wolves.

Two months of grieving, and fighting between the otherwise 'happy', 'perfect' soul mates. It was strange, and the elders were more confused than ever at first. Now, they seemed... at ease, mainly. My mom knew something I didn't, though. She always had an edge since a week after Emily's miscarriage; when she had dropped by to see Sam and Emily on her way home from work. Whatever it was, I tried to push to the back of my mind. I couldn't find it in me to give them solace or comfort. I couldn't do it for myself, so I wouldn't be much good to anyone else.

You have to practice what you preach for it to mean something. Telling them it would be okay and their pain would get better when I hadn't found a cure for my own pain, - though, admittedly, it wasn't the same - was hypocritical. That, and I couldn't empathize to their situation. I sympathized to an extent, but I couldn't empathize and that's what they needed, I assumed. Someone who had been through the same thing and could honestly tell them it gets better.

Whatever was going on, it was pretty irrelevant to me, I convinced myself. I had responsibilities to the pack, and since the miscarriage, I had changed. At least in wolf form. I didn't constantly nag and tease. I mostly kept to myself. There was no need to block out my pain with rage if the source wasn't around; if the source was grieving himself. Right?

Maybe I was just turning soft. Or.. harder. Whatever the case, I was okay right now. As okay as I had been in a long time. It still hurt and stung and nagged at me; the pain, but it held off for longer and I was able to do things without being constantly reminded of Sam. It was a horrible way to have gotten space, though it was space nonetheless.

I got up, off my bed, and headed over to Jacob's, where everyone met for patrol, now. The night was just taking precedence, overriding the suns dominance in the sky as the clouds darkened, the moon gaining on the sun. It wasn't raining; damp, but not raining. Yet, at least.

I took a breath in as I turned the knob on Jacob's house, entering as per usual, and going into the tiny living room. It was big enough for Billy and Jacob, but for pack meetings... Not so much. I was practically invisible to them all, now, though, considering my lack of pettiness; nagging, in wolf form and human. Keeping to myself furthered my standing in the pack's mind, I knew, but I really had no intentions of trying to do anything. All the horrible thoughts just kind of... stopped. I wasn't hostile. I was envious and hurt, but not hostile. Not right now. Not with Sam's absence; his thoughts about he and Emily torturing me no longer. It was easier; nicer taking orders from Jacob, even with his obsessive thoughts about the half-breed he imprinted on. But still, easier. Sam asked him to take over for a little while. Little did he know, that meant two months in counting.

As I entered the living room, I was shocked, or rather, surprised, to see Sam standing in front of the others; not Jacob. Jacob was sat down on the arm of the couch, waiting for Sam to start. I leaned in the door frame for the duration of the usually short stay. Jacob gave orders; a perimeter and outline and then, we'd all pair up somewhat and disperse. Something told me this meeting would be longer. Sam's eyes met mine instantly as I walked in. Something burned within them, but I couldn't determine what it was. I didn't keep eye contact long enough. My heart sank when I had walked in. Jacob was easier to be around, and seeing Sam again... I felt everything return; hostility included.

"I'm back," Sam stated, his eyes staying on me, though talking to the group.

I dropped his gaze, feeling his eyes leave me before I looked back up.

He took a deep breath in and then, as though this was completely normal, he gave everyone directions, as though he hadn't missed a beat the last two months. I suspected Jacob filled him in.

I was the first to leave, the guys following as we exited the back door, accumulating in the yard before getting ready to phase, quickly sharing a word or two with whoever we were supposed to stay close to. Mine was Embry. As easy-going as he was lately, it was still hard to be close to the guys in any way.

"Leah," I heard the familiar voice behind me murmur as I nodded to Embry.

I turned, looking up slightly to meet Sam's eyes. "Yeah?" My voice wasn't as snippy and flippant as it usually was. Maybe I was being sensitive to Sam's loss, or maybe, I really had changed a little. The pain only worsened, though, as I gazed into his large, chocolate eyes.

"We need to talk."

"About?" My brow furrowed. What could he possibly want?

Sam tried to take my hand, but I pulled it back before he got the chance. I was still me: Leah. I still cringed thinking about his hands touch me, either now, or when he held me in bed. I was still hurt and I was still trying, and obviously failing, to heal. Why did he always do this?

But there was something in his large, chocolate eyes. Something I was incompetent to read.

The pack fell silent and I could feel their eyes. They all knew whatever he was going to say, I realized. Everyone did. And this is what my mom knew a month and a half ago. How they kept it from me, I don't know, but whatever it was had my palms sweating and a lump rising in my throat.

"What?" I repeated.

"The imprint..."

I fought back the urge to cringe; especially with all the eyes on us. I decided to retrace back to my old habits. "What about it?" I snapped slightly. "Just spit it out, God."

I could almost hear the exasperation filling the guys at my old ways.

Sam's eyes didn't drop my gaze and I saw him struggling for words.

"It's broken."

It's broken.

What was?

Broken.

"Leah?" Sam said gently, trying to get my attention through the daze. "The imprint broke: Mine and Emily's."

My body felt heavy, but light at the same time. My whole body, wrists especially were warm and tingling. I felt disconnected with my body, my mind filling with thoughts, yet completely blank at the same time as I dropped his gaze. The imprint broke. That was impossible. What fucking game was he playing? Rage suddenly entered my blood.

"That's impossible." I stated harshly. "What are you playing at? Fuck off, Sam. Seriously..." I can't do this. That was what I wanted to say. I couldn't take it. Games and lies and bullshit. But I couldn't admit that; I couldn't show him any weakness. I was Leah Clearwater; a compassionless shrew. I was the girl who didn't take shit. I only gave it. I was Leah Clearwater; broken, numb and hurt. Hiding.

"The elders were right," he said gently, trying to push away my harshness. "Imprinting was for fertility. When Emily lost the baby... It broke." There was little attachment in his voice. It took me back slightly. "All we do is fight; argue. As soon as it happened, everything changed."

Something came over me, then. Was he looking for pity? "Poor you. Is that what you want? Someone to tell you they're sorry that you and Ms. Perfect aren't the same now?"

"Leah," Jacob scolded.

Sam sighed, frowning. I could only imagine how he still felt about losing his son, but whatever the fuck he was playing at wasn't worth my time or energy and it hurt more than I could take. I was getting better. I was moving on. Progress, right? Life was finally going on.

"You're so beautiful," Sam blurted. "God Leah, you're the most beautiful, amazing girl I've ever laid eyes on."

I couldn't speak. I couldn't open my mouth, or meet his piercing gaze anymore. I would break. I would crack. I couldn't do that. He couldn't make me do this.

"Leah," I heard Emily's voice from the back door of Jacob's house, Billy behind her in his wheel chair, watching everything unfold. "It's true. Sam and I..." She shook her head. She was hurt, I could see, but she wasn't devastated; empty. She wasn't me. "We're not engaged anymore."

I looked to he when she spoke, and when she stopped, I looked to Sam, then everyone else. "Alright, all of you can fuck off. Seriously. Where's the joke? It's not funny." Tears accumulated in my eyes. I couldn't help it. My whole body was trying to tremble, but I held it back, balling my hands into fists. "It's not funny." My tone was defeated; empty; laced with exhaustion.

"Lee-Lee.."

I reached up, un-balling one of my fists, only to slap Sam across the face so hard his head snapped to the side. He was so close; only a step away. The closest he had been to me since the break-up and as my hand made contact with his face, it shook and I hesitated to bring it back to my side as his eyes turned to me. I expected him to phase, but he was calm. He expected this reaction; prepared for it.

"It's not a joke, Leah," Emily said gently. "You're getting your life back. Your old life." There wasn't _much _hostility; sarcasm in her tone. She was trying to be genuine, but me gaining everything back was still a slap in the face to her. Especially after losing a child.

"I'm getting my life back?" I almost laughed, unable to look at Sam as I looked around at the guys. I was a ticking time bomb; it was written on everyone's face. They had no idea what I'd do next. As unpredictable and unforgettable as I was, I loved it. My eyes were still damp, but the burning had temporarily subsided.

I took a long moment as everyone stayed silent to digest everything. Sam expected me to take him back, I realized quickly. Right here, right now; immediately.

"And you think that you can just waltz back into my life?" I asked, speculatively.

"I'm willing to make it up to you," he said quickly. "Leah, please, let me try. I know I've hurt you, but I want to try. We can go back to what we were. Everything can go back."

His words were too real; to attainable. I shook my head, the burning in my eyes returning as my bottom lip noticeably quivered. "It's not that easy," I choked out. "You left me. You promised you would never leave me." My words were forced, my throat filled with a lump the size of a baseball, but as I met his eyes, I couldn't take mine away.

"I'm the way I am because of you! Everyone hates me because of you!" I almost screamed, through clenched teeth as my fists balled up again. I suspected everyone expected me to hit him again, but I couldn't. My limbs were too much like Jell-O for my to get a good hit. I didn't want to hit him anymore.

I didn't want to hurt anymore.

The pain and hurt was written so plainly on my face, the thought made me want to cringe. I squeezed my eyes shut. Everything I had masked so well was surfacing; all the pain.

I felt Sam's arms engulf me so tight I struggled to breathe at first. And then, the tears started flowing from my eyes and down my cheeks.

"The imprint had a force over me," Sam said, his hands rubbing up and down my back, trying to soothe me as my frame shook, my face buried into his chest... Oh God, his chest. I inhaled his all too familiar scent. He smelt the same; felt the same. But it wasn't that easy. Things would never be as they were before. But that doesn't mean that they couldn't be better... Right? "But Leah.." He pulled back slightly and waiting until I looked up at him. I had to blink to get the tears out of my eyes; to focus on every feature I had pointedly tried to block out, including his smouldering eyes. "You were my first, and you are my true love. God, Leah, it's always been you." He paused, reaching up and wiping my cheeks dry as more tears fell in their place. "I love you, so much. It's always been you. Please, give me another chance. One more chance. I know it sounds crazy and I have no right to ask, but Lee-Lee, please... I promise you with everything I am to make this up to you. Every tear. I know I've broken you. But let me fix it: Fix you."

Some part of me told me that it could be as it was: Now that they weren't together anymore, I could heal. I could avoid them, and heal.

But I laughed at that part mentally. That would never happen. Sam held everything I was. He was everything to me and even through the pain and the hurt, I wanted to give him another chance. He had a lot of making up to do. He had a lot of damage to undo, or make right. But he had me. He always had me. My heart.

I reached up automatically, wrapping my arms around his neck as sobs shook my frame. "Don't leave me. Not again. Not ever, ever again. I need you," I said between sobs, and my voice hitching. "Sam..."

"Lee-Lee," he murmured, his tone telling me there were tears on his cheeks. I cried harder, unable to help it. "I promise I won't," he breathed. "I'm so, so sorry."

It was in front of everyone; my break down and our... reunion, if you wanted to call it that. Sam would have to regain trust. There was no way that he could just come back as though nothing happened, however, I love him, and I need him, and I knew that that was all it took to allow him to _try_. I always told myself he hurt me too much to be ever let in. Though that was bitterness; my mask. I tried to show everyone my bitter side to hide the hurt I held within; the hurt that came out as tears at night when I was alone.

But this... He was mine. He was my everything. He was back, and as I clung to him, his arms tightly wrapped around my waist, I knew he was all I ever had needed, and the pain and hurt... It was gone, relief filling my mind; body. Actually, relief didn't begin to explain it, but it was a start. This was a new start. I pulled back, and both of our lips yearningly found the others in a passionate and desperate kiss. It was a private moment, but it was on display for everyone to see. Though, I didn't care. That faded; everything but him did.

This had to be a dream, surely. It just had to be.

Though the livening feel of his lips on mine assured me it was far from such.

His hands and his body and his scent; his _everything_.

And he was my everything.

* * *

><p><strong>Authors Note:<strong>

So! I hope you all enjoyed this! It randomly popped into my head tonight and basically wrote itself! I really like what I've got written, and this was supposed to be a one-shot, however, if you want to explore Leah and Sam rebuilding their relationship, let me know in your reviews! If you think it should be short and sweet the way it is, include that, or if you want to explore them, tell me! It's completely up to the feedback I get and I'm open to either option.

So don't forget!  
>Review! ;D<p>

- Dramaticfield


	2. Chapter 2

**It's Always Been You**

**Chapter Two**

**Authors Note: Sorry for the delay! I'm finally rememersing myself back into my fanfiction again! I'm sorry it's taken this long because I really am pleased with this idea and how the first chapter turned out and I want to continue it. I hope you guys haven't written me off! **

**Leah's point of view.**

Two weeks.

That was how long that had passed since I've been outside; around people aside from those living with me.

After what happened between Sam and I... Well, I needed space, honestly. I loved him with all my heart and wanted nothing more than to run back into his arms, however, it wasn't possible. He was attainable; he was mine, again. But there was no way that he could just... come back. Not after everything that had happened. Not so easily.

I still remembered the empty feeling that consumed me day after day. I remembered how easily I got mad and how devastatingly upset I got some nights. I remember the dramatic mood swings and the irritability that made it's way through at the most normal of times.

I couldn't forget. Not that easily. Actually, I would never forget.

It made it hard, I realized one night, sitting on the eve of the roof outside my bedroom. It was hard to forgive someone whole-heartedly if you had to admit you could never forget what they'd done to you. I'd also realized however, that people deserve second chances. And if you really cared about them, third and fourth chances. No one was perfect and I knew this was an extremely different situation because of the imprint. Forgiving wasn't easy, and it would take time, but I'd taken comfort in the fact that it would happen. It had to. If there was a part of me that still loved Sam - and there was, then I had to try a long process to put things behind me.

After he told me about the imprint breaking, I had to be alone. I was relieved and happy and horrified all the same. But I needed to really think about everything and get myself together. I told him that and he respected it, leaving me by my lonesome ever since. Though it was killing me knowing he was finally attainable and I was sat here, in my room, doing nothing to bring him closer to me. The thought, however, of going to him and wrapping my arms around him, was also a hard concept to bring my head around. It was all so complicated.

But finally, I woke up this morning and realized I had one life to live and I could either hold up in my bedroom and try and find some kind of magical answer to everything; some huge realization that would alter my life from the Heavens, or, I could get up off my lazy ass and make my own fate. I was so fucking tired of things being decided for me.

Sam Uley.

The name rang through my head all morning as I showered, threw on a pair of shorts and a sort-of nice tank top, and left the house before mom or Seth awoke. I didn't really know what was going on the past two weeks. The whole pack - aside from Seth, had left me alone to put the pieces of my life together, as I requested. Therefore, I made my way to the house Sam and Emily previously lived in together, not knowing if he would be there or not.

I didn't quite know what I was going to say. What was there to say? He had to built back my trust; my love, believe it or not. I loved him, with every fiber of my being, however, he'd hurt me greatly and there was no dreamy-eyed teenage girl left in me from when we dated years ago. I was a woman now. One who had been through way too much to function normally sometimes.

I kicked a rock all the way to the house, and finally, I took the turn by the side of it and saw the yellow sided house appear. The first thing that caught my eye was a red and white FOR SALE sign on the front lawn. I assumed Emily was moving back to her community. She wasn't from here, after all. I felt... mean, almost, wanting her to return home after all the times when we were small and I begged her to beg her parents to come visit me. We got our way more often than not, but I would never be able to look at her the same again. She was my cousin, yes, but the best friend title was forever lost. I couldn't forgive her for being in bed with Sam knowing how badly I was hurting over losing him. I knew it wasn't their fault. That was something else I'd come to terms with over the past fourteen days, but what's done was done.

I bit my lower lip as I walked up the driveway, to the door. Sam's car was in the garage, as was large cardboard boxes packed to the rim with stuff. I knocked hesitantly on the door, my heart heavy in my chest.

About a minute later, Emily opened the door and I found her usual cheer on her face. Some part of me wondered if the imprint breaking had been a dream. I knew she was still mourning the loss of her baby, but I couldn't honestly think of any soothing, comforting words to say to her.

"Leah," she said gently, ushering me inside. "Sam's upstairs packing the rest of his things."

I nodded, "I actually came by to see the both of you."

Emily shut the door behind me and I stayed in the porch, leaving my shoes on. "Oh," she said gently. "You know... I really hate this." For some reason, I got the feeling she had a speech wrote since the imprint broke, for me. "I hate to think that Sam and I hurt you for no reason."

I was confused for a second. "What do you mean?"

She frowned, waving her hand in the air around us. "All of this. We both betrayed you and hurt you only for the imprint to break. I don't know why fate would put you through the pain and our friendship through the shredder for nothing. It's all back to the way it was, but it's all so different."

I understood what she was saying and merely nodded. "Yeah, I've been wondering the same thing. Hell, I wondered why from the moment the imprint started and now... In a way it was all for nothing."

Emily sighed. "I'm sorry, Leah. Sorry for being a bad friend and not being the best friend you deserved. I know I've said it before and that it doesn't mean much, but... I don't know. I'm glad you can be happy, now. I'm glad I don't feel like I'm causing you pain all the time. I know we'll never be the same, and I don't know why our friendship ended up like this, like I said, for nothing, but I'm sure there's a reason behind it all. Something more profound that we'll never know until it's too late, but I hope you guys can be happy together, I really do."

I gave her a small smile. "You're forgiven, Emily. I can't forget, and I can't just pretend like it's over now and it's all okay, but I don't hate you. I really am sorry for your loss and I'm sorry everything's so fucking messed up."

She returned the smile. "I know, and I truely am sorry for... literally, everything. I failed you."

"Everyone failed me," I said softly, looking around the now empty house. It used to be so full of life; laughs. At least when the guys were here for pack meetings and such.

She nodded and just then, Sam came down over the stairs. To be honest, I didn't read too much into Emily's grief for Sam wanting to reconcile with me. I believed that she was happy I could be happy. If only it was that easy, I thought.

"Hey Leah," he said gently, a soft, welcoming smile on his face.

"Can we talk?" I asked. "Privately?"

He exchanged looks with Emily as though he still needed her okay, and then, nodded. "Let's go for a walk."

He and I exited the house, walking over to the edge of the yard, into the cover of the woods. A creek ran through a few meters away, and he walked over to it, sitting on the edge. I followed, sitting does as well, though not side by side.

"I'm really sorry, Lee..." He said softly, avoiding my eyes.

"I know. Me, too."

He was surprised and turned to me, brows furrowed. "For what?"

"Thinking you didn't care. I know you did I just... I couldn't stand to think you cared. It hurt more to think you still cared, but loved Emily more, than it did to just think you'd completely written me off."

He nodded. "I understand." He paused. "Where does that leave us?"

The creek bubbled and I heard some birds chirping in the trees. I looked up to the grey sky, grateful it hadn't rained yet today. "I don't know."

Things were quiet between us for a few, long minutes, until I spoke again. "I love you. You know that." He nodded and our eyes met. He took my hand in his, and I instinctively joined our fingers. "I want to try and work it out."

He smiled softly. "Emily's moving back home and I think, for now, I'm going to move back in with mom. It's the best move for me right now."

I nodded. "And selling the house, I see."

"Yeah, neither of us wanted to keep it. Too many memories."

"I still feel broken," I blurted out. "Sometimes I just start crying and I don't know if it's because I'm so fucking happy I can have you, or if it's because I don't know what I'm going to do now to try and put myself - and us, back together." I frowned, and saw Sam's lips turned down as well. I looked away from his eyes, into the water beneath our dangling limbs.

I could tell he was trying to materialize something to say and I knew he couldn't completely understand what I went through. Even if he felt bad for me and missed me when he was with Emily, he still had Emily; someone who made him happy and made him feel better about our murdered relationship. "I can't possibly say I know how you felt..." He admitted. "I can say I'm terribly sorry things happened the way they did and I want to take care of you. I want to be there through the ups and downs. The... depression you were in... It doesn't just go away. Even when the cause of it does, or, well, stops being the cause."

"Depression?" I said softly, quirking my lip.

Sam hesitated. "I read into it. Online. I know that it sounds... out there, but you just... You couldn't of always been sad about the break-up. You were mad and blaming yourself and everyone else and upset and you tried to pretend like you were okay... I think you went into a depression. Sometimes I was scared for you, but I knew Sue was always keeping an eye on you."

Well, I'd never questioned my mental health before now. I always thought my reaction to everything was normal; expected. However, I guess Sam was right. I was in a depression and it occurred to me that that was the demon I had to battle for happiness. I had to get all the bad emotions and baggage gone so I could be happy and move on, completely. I had to release everything and forgive.

I nodded. "I guess, yeah. So, where does this leave us?" I asked.

"I'll win you back, Leah."

"You never lost me," I whispered. "Not really."

Sam smiled softly, and I beamed into his chocolate eyes. "I suppose not. But I will regain your trust and I will help you come to terms with things, I promise. Then we'll talk about the romantic part of the relationship."

I leaned up and kissed him desperately and after several, long seconds, I pulled back. "I love you. Just know that, okay? I'm doing my best to accept all of this, but it's so... unexpected. Weird."

He nodded, "I know. I felt the same way when I realized what happened, but I'm here when you need me. I'm not going to push you. Just come to me when you're ready."

I gave him a small smile before getting up off the edge of the creek. "I will. It's just hard to believe that this is reality. I thought you were off limits forever. I still don't know if I believe that you're back in my life as something more than a constant reminder of hurt. It's surreal."****

**Authors Note:  
>I hope you guys liked this chapter! You know what to do! Review!<strong> 


	3. Chapter 3

**It's Always Been You **

**Chapter Three**

**Leah's point of view**

"Leah?" My mom's voice called from the kitchen as soon as I walked in the door.

"Yeah?" I called back, kicking off my shoes.

"Come here, please."

I walked through the living room, into the kitchen where she and Allison - Sam's mother were sitting on the bar stools lining the island in the middle of the room. I hadn't seen her in a while and the only thing that changed about her were the gentle imprint of lines appearing on her face. She still looked beautiful; a tall, lean woman with the same chocolate eyes as her son and of course, dark, half-curly hair. I gave her a small smile. Her and I used to be close; seeing each other almost every day considering I used to frequent her house.

"Hello," I said politely before turning to my mother. "Yes?"

"Allison wanted to come over to see how you were handling the news. About Sam and Emily."

I nodded, giving her a small smile. "I'm... overwhelmed. But, why didn't you tell me?" I asked in my mother's direction. "You know about this before I did, I can tell."

My mom frowned. "I did know. Sam went to Allison's one night, telling her about all the trouble he and Emily had been having after the loss of their child. He told her he didn't feel quite the same about her. At first, she thought it was just the loss they were going through, but eventually, Sam said he just couldn't be around her the same way anymore."

Allison nodded. "He just wasn't as... happy I guess. She started to get on his nerves and although they have a mutual agreement to remain good to one another when they decided to end their engagement, he just didn't click with her anymore. I went to the elders when he came to me the second time, telling me again how different it felt. They didn't know what to make of it, but after a while, they realized that the imprint had broken. They'd always believed it for fertility reasons, and even though they could of tried again, I guess something just... happened. No one can fully explain it. Not really, but they do know that they're not binded anymore. Somehow."

My mom nodded. "And we didn't want to tell you until Sam and Emily came to terms with it and everything was figured out. Otherwise it would of been even more complicated."

Allison agreed. "Leah... He's always loved you. It's never went away it just... was overpowered. He couldn't help it. You may think it was easy for him to just... Well, move on with Emily, even after you knew about the imprint, but I know that's not the case. After you both broke up," she hesitated bringing up the topic. "He came back to the house and he wouldn't come out of his room for three days. I could see the pain in his eyes. No matter what he felt for Emily, he felt like his life was being dictated for him and after having to hurt you, and himself, he swore up and down he wouldn't forgive the Gods. He didn't understand why they had to take you away from him."

"He got over that pretty fast, though," I mumbled, still somewhat bitter and hurt. The topic just wasn't a friendly one.

Allison seemed to understand, or well, sympathize at least, not taking offense to my words, even though my mother frowned. "Love just doesn't go away, Leah. Not that kind of love; your love."

Suddenly, I got it. Sam's dad left Sam. But he also left his mother. She knew. She understood. And she still loved him, somehow, above all logic and reason.

"Do you still love him?" I asked softly.

"Yes," she breathed, knowing exactly what I was talking about.

"Does it still hurt?"

"Every day."

I frowned, taking her hand and giving it a squeeze. All along, there really had been someone I could relate to, even if that was Sam's mom. Now, however, it seemed as though I was the lucky one, and I wished her pain away as mine eased up as well. Unfortunately, only one of us may be able to have somewhat of a happy ending and for her sake, I was going to take it, knowing if Sam's dad came back, she would have taken him back, too. She could live vicariously through me.

My mom caught on to the sudden change in topic and she gave Allison a small smile. I could tell they didn't bring Sam's dad up a lot, and it was a unwelcome topic but I wanted to know more.

"He was a wolf," I said gently. "But he didn't imprint on you right?"

Allison nodded. "Right. His generation didn't turn because there was no vampires around, the same as your dad. He didn't even know about it, I doubt. Regardless, he passed the gene on to Sam and then the Cullen's came back."

"So did he just... pack up and leave one day?"

Sam didn't know much about his father. His mother didn't like to talk about him, and Sam hadn't been old enough to remember anything before his father left. "He couldn't deal with the responsibilities so yes."

I frowned. "But he loved you... How could he just... leave?"

"The same way anyone does," Allison said softly. "He was overwhelmed and he didn't really want to make it work. We were only together a short time before I got pregnant and even then he was a little flaky. I believe Embry is his son, too. There is no way Billy or Old Quil fathered him. He has Sam's eyes, too." The aging woman frowned. "I still love him, but I have no hope for us to reconcile. I know it's over, it's just hard being alone. I want you to take the oppertunity that I didn't get, though. Sam was always distraught over having to leave you. He hated himself for hurting you, Leah, trust me. He cares about you so, so much and I know he wishes he could have a do-over. Just give him an oppertunity, as hard as I know it will be for you, to show you he does care and does need you."

I took her words into consideration and I nodded. "Thanks, Allison. I'll do my best."

"It won't be easy," she said gently, rubbing my shoulder. "But it will be worth it. He's a good kid; you both are."

I gave her a small smile and nodded. I wanted to tell her that despite how much my heart yearned for him and yet, how hard it was to just forget about all the nights I couldn't have felt anymore broken if I tired. I was alone, and I had no one after Sam and Emily left me for each other. They had been my world, and then everything was dark and lifeless. Sam was different, too. We had both grown up. It wasn't a bad thing, but the long-haired, lanky Sam Uley was gone. He was now matured, both in age and features, and his short hair, although it suited him, didn't give him a young look anymore. We were both adults and we were both trying to find ourselves, still, like teenagers, trying to put together our broken lives and heart break. Mentally I don't think we matured at all. We regressed, really. We were worse off now than we used to be as teenagers, having everything planned out. It was going to be hard to come to terms with our shattered relationship and try to carefully put back the piece again without getting cut sometimes. Things would be extremely hard and rocky and although my mind was yelling at me to take things slow, my heart felt both weighed down and overjoyed.

It was all a rollercoaster. Both of our hair was shorter, and he grew out of his scrawny build, turning into a man with muscles and broad shoulders, but he was still Sam and my heart still held onto him so tightly it could stop the blood flow. I knew he had been with Emily in ways I would never want to imagine, but there was nothing I could think of to get myself to let go of this newfound hope of a normal, happy life with him. We would take it slow, and like Allison said, it wouldn't be easy, but it would be worth it.

I hugged her goodbye as I went upstairs, into my room. I had a lot of thinking to do, still. It wasn't a easy thing to just let someone back in after you had kept them out for so long, and hurt so badly over them. I was surprised to see Seth sitting on my bed, though.

"Leah," he said, standing as I entered the room. "Please promise me you're okay."

I gave him a small smile. We didn't get along sometimes and I knew it was mainly my fault for treating him like a baby, but I just couldn't have him lose his life like I had lost mine and I wanted to make sure he was always safe, physically and emotionally. I knew I wasn't the easiest person to get along with, either.

"I'm okay," I said gently. "Better."

"If he hurts you again," Seth said, teeth clenched, hands balled into fists. He was growing in to the protector of the family, like dad was and I knew he worried about me as much as I got on his nerves. "I like Sam, I do, but if this is some sick joke, it's not funny. I've heard you up all night crying when he first left you and I hated him for it, and now, like I said, as much as I do like him, I won't see him hurt you a second time."

I went over and hugged Seth, but he cringed from my reach. "I'm serious, be careful, Lee. I'm going out with Embry and Jake for a bit, but don't do anything you're not ready for."

I promised him I wouldn't and he left to go with the guys. I sat on my bed, realizing I had never been alone. Well, not at first. I pushed everyone away, but it could still be mended. Nothing was broken forever.

**Authors Note: Sorry for the delay, but I put out two new chapters tonight (two different stories) and hopefully I'll get another couple written after school tomorrow to try and update the majority of my stories before Christmas! I know it's a tad short, but please, if you have any suggestions on where you'd like the story to go, or even just short-term ideas or scenes you'd like to see between a pair of characters, feel free to shoot me a PM or leave it in your review! I don't bite! If I don't update before then, Merry Christmas and I hope you all have safe and happy holidays! **


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